


Two out of Three

by Alaisabel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: After Azkaban, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2018-01-19 07:04:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1460290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alaisabel/pseuds/Alaisabel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus and Sirius are reunited after Azkaban but not everything is as it should be. The idea is based on a Meat Loaf song but it's not a song-fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two out of Three

**Author's Note:**

> The fic is based on the Meat Loaf song "Two out of Three ain't Bad" and it might be an advantage to know it before reading, though it's in no way needed to understand the plot.

I want you

“I’m really sorry.” my voice cracks and your hands shake too much to light the cigarette.

“No need.” you shrug and close the door behind you, “It was war.”

“I know.” without the light behind you I can see how sunken you look. I clear my throat, “You should be on your way.”

“I know.” you throw the unlit cigarette on the floor of my office, “I just wanted to see you.”

“They’ll discover you’re gone any minute.” I ignore the step you take in my direction, “You need to go.”

“I’ve missed you.” warm arms I thought were lost forever encircle me. I can feel your bones but I don’t care.

I cling on to the front of your shirt to escape the pain of the pit in my stomach being ripped open anew, “I…”

You cover my lips with yours and I’m burning up with a want that even Azkaban can’t extinguish. 

I’m reaching for something to hold on to as I spiral into oblivion. I know I’ll hit hard rock eventually but I keep reaching, trying to imprint you on my skin.

The burn of your stubble against my neck and the pain of the desk cutting into the back of my thighs are the only things keeping me to reality. 

The papers on my disk go flying and the thumps as they hit the floor sounds louder than our heartbeats. I can feel your pulse through your papery skin and for a moment I’m fully convinced that you’re not a figment of my imagination but right now I wouldn’t care if you were. 

I stare up at your face, “I want you.” your breathing is rapid and hard and you just nod. 

You want to ask but I just tell you I don’t care. I don’t know if I’m screaming when you enter me or if it’s the roaring in my ears.

I’m groping for you and I don’t care if you leave scratches all over my body, I just need you to fill the hole you’ve left inside of me.

I need you

I’m pounding on your door and my palm is torn open by splinters.

You tear the door open and snarl and I start talking as you smash a vase.

You scream of me and I keep talking to keep the dark cloud of fear at bay. I don’t know what I’ve said but suddenly you stop and look at me.

I start reaching for you as you reach for me and everything is alright again as I gulp air filled with you. 

Your touches are hard and urgent as they always are when you’re restless but I don’t care as long as I get my fix.

You’re holding me down and I let you in the hope that it means I can hold you afterwards.

But then you turn to leave even as I beg you not to and the emptiness returns.

“I need you.” 

I don’t know why you’re turning around but then your warmth is back and I feel whole.

But there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you

You’re waiting for me to say something but I can’t and as you pull away and leave I’m powerless. 

It’s not fair but I can’t lie to you.

There’s a gapping chasm between us and I want to explain it to you but I don’t think you would understand.

But then it’s too late and I’m only a numb spectator as you fade away. I want to scream and explain it to you before you’re gone but in that moment I can’t be selfish and then it’s to late. 

They tell me that it’s not my fault but it is and I’m the one paying the price. I’m empty. 

I don’t love you and you thought you knew the answer why but you didn’t. When I said I love someone else I meant you and that’s why I can’t love you. Because you’re not you and I’m not me. Not anymore.


End file.
